Life as it once was.. Is no more

As I sit down to write this, my mind is mentally blocking all of the things I was supposed to do while my two babies are sleeping. Two babies.. we now have two kids. Two beings who rely completely on us for their well being. So my view on life and everything in it has been turned up side down and spun around in a million different directions. Although the entrepreneur lifestyle and business is still very apparent in the way we live, our decisions are much more calculated and thought out, and rethought because it is no longer just us. The word "work" has taken on a whole new meaning for me. I have decided to take some time being just Mommy. And although I wasn't completely sure how it would go, I have never been more sure of a decision in my life. Raising my kids. The outside business world in no longer, it is the fishing lure world and the kid world. I suspect just the way God intended it to be at least for now. Even though I am not working outside of the home, I still play my part being a sounding board and a second pair of eyes for my husband and his creation. It has now blossomed into a machine, that if fed correctly produces the most fantastic end product which is success. But along with success and climbing up that mountain, there are always storms, rocks in the way, animals waiting for you to fall or those waiting to try and knock you off. This past year of our lives has been an incredible struggle. The animals are out, and the storms have been severe. But as we have seen so many times throughout this journey, there must be storms to encounter a rainbow. There will always be waves. Some we recover from quickly and others knock us down for longer. But you better believe that my husband and I are the people when we get knocked down, we train and train hard and then get back up not only stronger than ever, but with a vengeance. And you can count on this, we are already teaching our children the very same thing. So as our story continues to unfold before us, we are training, we are growing stronger and leaner, we are adding muscle to our team, and we will continue to listen to our direction. And although life as it once was is no more, the direction we are headed is exactly where I want to be.

Barely Scratching the Surface

Looking back to my last post in March it seems like a few years have gone by since then! Both professionally and personally it has been one hell of a ride. From a huge chaotic move experience to our insane journey with LL and back home to our beautiful little mess who is growing so quickly sometimes its hard to wrap my mind around.
So in the midst of harnessing a very strong willed 2 year old, the reality of Livingston Lures and the constant change of our new home, I have decided to make a conscience effort to choose "happy" every morning when I wake up. Sounds like such a simple task, but let me tell you there are days my eyes are forced open by the alarm clock and I just want to lay in that bed FOREVER. No people, no husband, no daughter, no business, just pillows, blankets and sleep. But once the coffee is poured and seeps into my blood stream my head clears and I am choosing "happy". Now to keep that "happy" all day is one huge pill to swallow. One phone call, text, email, social blah blah can knock that happy right out the window. And that's where God steps in. Cause Lord knows I am not able to do this without His help. As I write this blog, I am sitting here wearing a tshirt that I wish I could wear every day. It says, "All I need today is a little bit of coffee and a whole lot of Jesus" Isn't that the truth. These days are constantly filled with bustle. I read something the other day about a little girl who asked her mom why adults always tell each other how busy they are. A competition of who's busier. I just love kids. I love to sit and talk to them and hear their answers.. so honest and innocent. But as I thought about it, I do that ALL THE TIME. Oh we are always soo busy. I think it's time to change this way for me and me house. My sweet child has really helped put that into perspective. When I am pushing her too hard so I can finish my errands, when she HAS to eat her lunch NOW so I can get things done, when I drag her all over town to complete my tasks, I will look over at her and know it's time to slow down. There are so many different aspects of our lives. When people ask me what my husband does and I explain he has a fishing lure company, most look a little confused. You guys and fishing? Yep that is right. And even though at this very moment that does take up the majority of my husbands time these days, that barely scratches the surface of who we really are in this life. With summer coming to a close and one last major tourney on the agenda this year.. I think it's time to really start revealing to ourselves and the world just what else is below that surface.

Don't Wake Me From This Dream- Scratch that Wake Me up.. This is REAL LIFE!

Two weeks ago exactly today I lay in my bed sick as dog. I mean I did not move from that bed the entire day. Two days later I gathered myself enough energy to bid farewell to my sweet husband who had barely recovered from the same bug days before. He was off to the largest bass fishing event of the year. With our energy not up to par and so many other things happening at the moment, I didn't have time to build it up in my head like I had done in years past. But this was a world different from years past. LL is on the map, not just locally but nationally. There wasn't just a small 10X10 tent set up to sell as many baits as 2 people could physically manage. Not only was there a display that I pictured in my dreams, but clothing and gear and pro's and famous industry reps. And to just take it over the top, 3 guys who represent LL would be fishing in this epic tourney. Which for LL, that was all new. As I watched my husband drive away with tears in my eyes selfishly thinking I would be on my own for the next 5 days, I remember him clearly saying, "Pray that one of our guys makes the top 3 of the championship. That's all we need is the top 3." Ok I thought, what really are the chances of this happening. But I prayed anyway, not only because my husband asked, but because "we" NEEDED this win for 100's of reasons (we meaning everyone involved with LL). Well after my work week began to slow and things on the home front were winding down, I decided to do a little research of my own. It seems it was all very possible with these 3 guys competing, but I strongly believe in the sport of fishing anything is possible. The days passed and I would get a little report from my husband. I like to know the vibe and energy of these events since I'm not physically there. The last day, only 1 of the pros associated with LL made it to the end. It happens to be hands down my favorite guy, Randy Howell. Just a genuine, God fearing amazing character who stands next to a lady who radiates this pure light, together a powerhouse. After meeting them last year in Vegas, I began following Mrs. Howell on FB. So I decided to check out her page to see if I could gather any info on how her husband was doing out there. Something someone posted on her page, literally took me away from my breakfast table to get my iPad to try and get more info. Something magical had happened, all I could find out was that Howell had some sort of history making morning and had gone from 11th place to 1st place "unofficially". I was wired. Texting and checking. I found some link where you could follow the activity of all the fishermen. It was updated every 5 minutes. I began to get more info from my hubs, the energy coming from him just thru text messages made me want to be next to him more than anything in the world. This win would make it to the top of my husbands list of best times in his ENTIRE life. It would mean that something he created inside of his head and brought to market would be validated through this sweet man winning the world championship. It would mean all those years of sacrifice, work and perseverance would be worth it. All of the non believers who gave up, who thought it was a crazy pipe dream would be proved wrong as Randy stood there with Livingston smack dab center of his chest. I watched shaking, praying, pacing, until the very end. I did not realize how long it would actually take for the results so I ran to the grocery store. I turned it on my phone plugged in my headphones and watched him win the 2014 Bassmaster Classic as I paid the cashier at the grocery store, tears running down my face. He took the whole thing. First place, a champion. This stand up man and his beautiful family stood there on that huge platform and gave it all to God. It was pure magic, devine magic. There was no such thing called luck involved, that was God smiling down on us saying I have heard your prayers for all these years, and now is the time. I can't speak for the Howell family, only mine and this dream we feel like we are living in thru his win has changed our lives. We did not win a trophy or any amount of money, we did not train and fish and compete in this tournament. We did not win the title of world champion. Randy Howell did. And he happen to do it throwing Livingston Lures. You know when you hear that cliche phrase "we are living a dream", well who would of thought this South Texas girl and her inventrepreneur husband would see the day.


"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galations 6:9

"All of our Dreams come true if we have the courage to pursue them" -Walt Disney

A New Season Begins

As the middle of February approaches this means fishing season has officially begun. Two years ago this meant packing up the LL truck and hitting the road. A few days here, a couple more there, then back home to refuel, restock then back at it again. Well that was 2 years ago you see. Now a days things are quite different. Although the fishing season has definitely begun, there is a different season change in this ole house. The husband bustles to trainings and meetings and now the beginning of the must-do tournaments while the little and I try and keep our heads on straight! Things are changing so quickly with the business that if you stand still for too long you are completely left in the dust. I get alerts when anyone on the web mentions LL and it's crazy how much talk happens each and every day. I saw a commercial the other day for Cadillac that mentions Amazon, Disney, Mattel, huge companies who began in American garages. I swear my ears heard them say at the end, "Livingston Lures started in a garage." We are right there. Strike while the iron is hot.. well that saying just taps the surface of the impact that is being made in the fishing industry. Exciting, nerve racking, exhausting, and rewarding are just what falls out of my thoughts when I put it on paper.

And as for our mini, her change happened just last week. She began a whole new adventure. Mothers Day out to be exact. Wheww.. that was a big one for this fam. The little jewel of our lives was now going to be handed over to someone that is not related to us in any way. AND spending all day, eating, sleeping and learning there after being with JUST us for almost 2 years. Impossible right?! That was hard for me to wrap my mind around. But it is time. We learn that sometimes the hardest things to do in life happen to be the right things to do. I couldn't think too much about it or I would change my mind and cancel the whole thing! So I ripped off the bandaid of insecurity and clipped her wings. She won't fly too far just yet, just hops far enough out to give my heart a good check up.

So to another season of our lives. To the good, the bad and anything in-between. To letting go of both babies, the business and the sweet little soul we call daughter. Letting them both make their mark in the world each day growing stronger and more independent. I feel like this may be my very favorite season yet, but that is to be determined… praying I will keep it together long enough to find out!

Grow.. 2014

Well a new year is officially here. The words I will do it next year have landed into my lap. Although I didn't think I would be, I'm ready. I love that we get to "start over" each year. Like being cleansed and reset. Reflecting over the past year today, I am very thankful. So many milestones, accomplishments, and dreams becoming a reality. Life lessons, doors closed, aspects fading into the distance and more doors opening. My sweet little girl growing so beautifully into a person I could not even dream up. Many 1st steps for our angel will never ever be forgotten. 2013 was an eye opening year for this family. 2014 will be a year of growing. In every aspect of the word.. we will grow together and individually. Always for the greater good of us, our little family.

I will be feeding my soul to grow this year towards the woman I was made to be. Seeking more from God, I plan to learn to slow down and be silent for moments to appreciate the full beauty of my completely full life. Life experiences will chisel away the me from 2013 and form an improved me of 2014. There are always growing pains and I am very aware that those will slap me right off of my soul feeding adventure. But we are no strangers to adversity and I will let nothing stand in the way of what I want and need to accomplish this year. Lots of "must dos" you know the typical.. get back into shape, pay off debt. But so many many more significant resolutions have been written, boarded and visualized.

2014.. ready or not.. I have a feeling you are going to be the year I talk about down the road, as the year our lives were changed forever.

This is a picture of the chinese lantern we sent into the sky at midnight… Amen!!!

Remembering, Learning, Aging

Today is 9/11. This life we live in is just an insane adventure. I would just like to say that. Up and down, life and death, tragedies and accomplishments. And every other single event inbetween. There are times that I just get so wrapped up in my world ungratefully complaining, talking about nonsense, taking my life for granted. Then days like today hit me square in the face. I need that. Today it is the 12th anniversary since 9.11. The day that we will always take a moment and just literally remember. I specifically think about the families that lost someone. The ones who are left each year reliving it. I definitely remember to add them to my prayers on this day. Forever changing our country. The old days are gone. Easy airports, New York City, mostly everything about our country was altered that day. Weird to think and about and to the core crazy it went down like that. Honoring the people who had any part on this day is the smallest act of gratitude I could possibly do. Yes.. I will for the rest of my life take 9.11 to remember.

Also on this day 80 years ago my Grandmother, my mothers mother was born. 80 years old. We will all get there. God willing of course. This one lady is such a piece of our family puzzle. She is my Panamanian Grandma and I think 80 years of having her a part of this world is definitely worth celebrating. We will be having a bash for sure.

What a day today was.. remembering, reflecting and appreciating where I am and who is around. I am not getting any younger, time seems to be winning as usual so days like this are good for me. They shake me back to the real world and make me refocus my energy on what this deal is all about. Theres alot happening in this world and under this roof itself.. theres some magic brewing, blessed.

I Don't Believe in Coincidences

Being at the right place at just the right time.. possibly. Predestined lives.. maybe. But pure coincidence no way. This past weekend we took a trip to be a part of something I had no idea I would get to experience. I happen to be married to someone who I love to my deepest core, but would never understand until I had it. Not like the movies love because they never truly show all the facets there are. But an immeasurable love. Much like the love of a child..but I am drifting to an entire topic of it's own. So back to this love.. Since we have it and hold it so very close to our hearts, the husband and I love nothing more than for everyone to find that sort of love. Specifically those we cherish.

This is how it started: I got a text from a person who I share this crazy easy bond with. Someone who has a light that has always been a part of my life.. near and very far but always there. This lady has overcome the world.. you name it.. she has conquered it. It was time this friend found her match. I had known this man she spoke of was different. Her voice was different, her decisions seemed different, her whole being seemed different. And if you asked me what different meant, I would never be able to describe. Mind you, I have never ever met this man before. For me, I always try to give the benefit of the doubt in every single relationship. There is a reason I am with who I am with and others chose their companions... period. Sometimes I understand the match and sometimes I will never know why on earth two individuals are together. But there again, anyone in the world could peek into my life and think the exact same.. the bottom line is I know without a doubt. So the text came through about a month ago. My friend had decided to take the plunge. They decided they wanted to be married and would be doing it in aprox 3-4 weeks. I immediately felt the need to be there. Even if no one else showed up, I wanted to be there. But the magic begun here. I looked at my husband who was traveling the whole month of August and told him my sweet friend will be getting married and here is the date. Without even flinching, asking when, where, what.. he said we will be there. I was a little confused at his reaction myself because he wasn't even checking his calendar. But just that little action and how well him and I are connected I knew he felt it too. We HAD to be there.

Flying in we had no idea what to expect and that was actually a breathe of fresh air. We were just playing it by ear.. whatever the plans we were there. So as we were awaiting the night time plans, visiting with another dear friend the soon to be bride and groom swooped in quickly before getting their kids settled. One quick hello and I knew this was going to be good. The night before the big day came and went.. people celebrated with them, drinks were flowing. My favorite part was that we were the last 4 standing, (or kind of standing at this point) having breakfast at 2am in a Denny's without a care in the world other than sharing that delicious grease with these two people. After spending just a short couple of hours I got "them". Their perfectly imperfect bond that will hold them until the end.

The next day it's wedding time.. feeling the affects of the previous evening.. but making a decision that I will overcome with a little caffeine and food. And it's time. We are heading to the venue they have picked, in a bus filled with a small, very random group of individuals and I just looked around and felt pure happiness in this little bus. As we walk into this cool little eclectic art studio it began. These feelings of magic and just plain love. The love between the people gathered, the love for my friend, and just different families gathered to watch this family become one unit. I have never been to a wedding and felt that. Mostly because they are normally big weddings, you talk to the people you know and there are so many people gathered you miss a lot of the intimate details. Everything felt so casual, no rushing around, no stressful time crunches, just doing their thing. At last, the ceremony begins. I had offered to video because I knew they needed this moment captured on tape. I am so glad I did. I stood behind watching this family up there in the most perfect lighting, uniting with their 3 girls standing next to them thru this camera lens...incredible. The tears just began falling.. I could not stop them. I looked over at my husband sitting in the front row all by himself literally and fell in love all over again. After peeling my eyes off of him, I looked around the room and it seems I wasn't the only one that was completely touched by this love. From where I was standing there was a whole lot of emotion. I loved everything about these 48 hours of magic. The love shared, the memories made, the bonds tightened, this was definitely no coincidence. We were meant to be in that very moment no doubt.. for them, for us and every glimpse of hope that pure love is alive and well.
Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. and thank you for more than you might ever know.

The Time has Come

It is officially time. My dream of creating the gear side of LL has come to fruition. Everything coming together and the momentum is building. When I began this journey with the husband in the fishing industry my intentions were to eventually design outdoor gear for the company. I love cool outdoorsy, work out, comfy clothes that have flare. I have always wanted to design a line with our brand. And now the stars have begun to align, the name has made its way out there and it is time. I have never been so excited, inspired, passion driven and ready than I am now. After going back and forth about being a working mom, not working, starting a new career, staying where I'm at, I have arrived at my answer. Or maybe the answer smacked me right across the face. Its funny how when you pay attention, the indications or signs of where you are supposed to be start to appear everywhere! Well you don't have to tell/show me twice, specifically about this dream I have had for years. So now.. where to begin, how to begin, what to begin. And the answers start flowing right back to me. The divine connection of our current partners who play a huge role in our lives now, happen to be married to 2 people that are quickly becoming my most favorite people ever. These two women and I have decided to take on this venture together. Nothing could possibly make me more happy than to have the wives of LL coming together to create something that is OURS! And the work begins. We had our first non official brainstorming session yesterday and we decided on a basic direction. We were missing one of our "partners" for this sesh so we will get her caught up and feed back and onward we will move. Ideas, brainstorming, notes, and our side notes of course because we are ladies gathering trying to stay on one subject is just impossible! And here we are again, the beginning of another journey, the one I have been waiting for. Bring on the work load, pile on the busy, walls don't stand a chance, obstacles I know you are out there but have no doubt you will be conquered. Much more to come on this fantastic opportunity..

THE Trip

This past week we attended the annual fishing convention ICAST. This was my 5th time to attend the show, but my first time to experience anything like this. The previous times I have been we have always just walked the show. Talking to people in the industry, checking out the latest. Last year was the first time Livingston had their own booth. I was unable to attend this milestone event but for very good reason, my little just born. But this year.. what I year I picked to go! Not only did Livingston have a booth at the show, this booth stole the show. It was classy, it was educational, it was HUGE, it was catered breakfast, lunch and happy hour. It had tv's playing our stories, Pro Anglers demonstrating the lures, meetings being held, amazing displays. This booth was IT. I clearly had no idea what this bad boy was going to entail until we walked over to it. I was in complete awe. I was overwhelmed. So many emotions flooded my mind. But the one that took front and center was PROUD. I was proud of my husband first and foremost, proud of being a part of this amazing dream and proud of the company it has become. What a sight to be seen. Something so hard to put into words but just insane crazy. But that was just the beginning. The entire 5 days we were in Vegas we did it up. From the extravagant dinners to the cabana rented out just for Livingston, and the late night chats with people who have become our closest friends and partners. As I try and go back through the events of the week, I think about some of the most amazing people we met, some of the greatest memories we made, and all for one cause. Livingston Lures. And the thing that keeps playing over in my head is when we met with the Secretary of the State of Texas, she said, "right when you think you are about to give up, keep going." The things that you work the hardest for, suffer the most conquering, and sacrifice everything for, will pay off big. You hear it all the time right?! Well I have to say, I witnessed first hand, with my own two eyes, with my whole being that if you work hard enough and push through every obstacle you encounter, you will make it to that other side. And although we are still on the climb, it sure does feel good to see that the love of my life has yet again created something in his mind, taken to market, and leaving his mark in the world. Best part about it, I get to be a part of it with our precious little mini. Blessed beyond words. July of 2013 in Las Vegas, will go down in my book as an unforgettable milestone, no doubt about that.

And so the legend begins....

It is crazy how fast time seems to be moving lately. I am assuming that is due to the fact that things are moving at such an insane speed that I have to dig my toes into the ground so I don't get sucked into the momentum. But I am learning sometimes I like to ride in that madness.. no I will admit I LOVE to ride in it! And it all points back to the thing that started me on my blogging journey.. the fishing lure company. It has begun, the stories about my husband, the videos, the articles, and just the plain fact that it has a not only a name of it's own.. but a legend in the making. Check out this article that I had a part in writing about my one and only.

http://www.outdoorhub.com/stories/for-the-love-of-fishing-the-robert-castaneda-story/

I do not have the words to describe how proud, happy and excited I am about this dream becoming a reality. So I will leave it at that.

New Soul

So anyone who knows me knows that I like to get my workout on. Now I'm not this insane intense workout buff that will sacrifice anything and everything to get myself to the gym at crazy hours and what not. But I do get a lot out of gym time. Just my over all being is better. Well as of recently there is absolutely no time cut out for me to get to the gym UNLESS of course I want to go at 6am before the my little wakes and husband rushes out the door, or after 8:30pm when we put her down for the night and I am ready to collapse into bed, a glass of wine, or catch up time with the husband. I am too stubborn to join a gym with a daycare and leave her there. (some people think this makes me a crazy person) But nonetheless, I have always taken her for walks. If we are lucky, Daddy and the pups will join us if it's in the evening, but lately that has been super rare. So we have been creating a little routine since we are now in the midst of humid, hot, sticky Texas summer, we are taking our little walk/run stroll in the am. This morning it started off just as usual.. me not really ready for the workout and baby just excited she isn't going down for a nap yet and gets to be outside! The minute I walked outside there were some really dark clouds. The weather here has been crazy lately.. random thunderstorms coming out of nowhere. So I pulled up my weather ap, which I live by and somehow it is never really right on. It said no rain in sight today. Ok but it looks like it's about to pour? So we continue anyway, I need a little sweat and it's not lightening. As I get to our normal turn around point, this song came on. I play my music so both of us can hear.. cause I am bound and determined that we will have a musically inclined child. The song, New Soul by Yael Naim came on. This is the chorus:

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take
But since I came here
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

Just then it started to sprinkle. At first I kind of freaked out, I have my baby here with me and we are going to get drenched. But then it did not pick up, just a slow sprinkle, enough for her to get a few raindrops on her legs and me to get a little damp by the time we reached home. But I picked up the speed to a full on sprint. Just in case it did start down pouring. By the time we got home and under cover I was completely out of breathe and felt this deep cleanse I had just experienced and to make it just a trillion times better, my sweet girl was there to experience with me. Obviously she had no clue what was happening, but when I went to get her out, she did not want to leave that stroller. It was like she felt it too. These sprinkles of rain combined with the words of that song and everything that is going on in my life and people around me twirled me into such a good mood. Like a breathe of fresh air. My young soul is still alive and well, but with age the theory that you know it all kind of fades, and a new prospective starts to creep in. For me, it's learning to live. Just live in the moment. Appreciating people and their stories, their experiences, but learning we will all have different stories in the end. I am convinced we will have quite the story. Feeling so thankful after this sprinkle cleanse with my best friend by my side.

My Perfect Mess

As I look back thru this blog and where we came from and where we are I am nothing short of completely humbled. Humbled by God's grace and completely in awe of His work. I always hear things happen in His time, well for me when I need/want something right now, that isn't exactly what I have in mind for encouragement. But it is times like these when I look back at how things have turned out I know with every ounce of my being that it is totally His timing. We just spent the entire weekend with the Livingston gang. The guys worked and the ladies played. But this was the first time I got to see first hand the insane crazy totally different company that has transformed before my eyes. I mean there were people walking around the resort in Livingston I have never seen in my entire life. Like the cool new brand to be wearing. Wait.. WHAT?!?!? Then the divine coincidences the entire weekend, gives me goose bumps. My husband, the inventor and creator of Livingston. That statement right there makes me the most proud, insanely grateful, and inspired wife I could ever be. I mean we talk about all of the paths we could have taken. Or maybe should have taken. And even talk about the paths that we have to choose from in this very moment. But even those paths are changing by the second, the minute. And new ones are transforming. I don't know much about where we are headed but I can't help but to smile cause either way things are getting GREAT! But on our way to the great.. there are piles of mess and burdens, small annoying things that should not even occupy 1 second of my time. But this is my perfect mess. It was a game changing weekend.. I learned so much about people and my family and where we belong I think the cost of the entire trip is immeasurable. Onward and upward thru the piles to where He has seen all along.

This picture is so us.. Emma is in her own world.. looks like Robert is checking the time cause he is bound to be late for something, and then me trying to keep it all together.. Would not trade this for the world.. our perfect mess

My Dear Child.. Happy 1 Year of Life

My Emmalynn Faith, You have come into this crazy world and forever changed it. You have been a constant light not only for Mommy and Daddy but our whole family. Every day I wake up and the first thing I do is thank God for your beautiful soul. It has been the honor of my life to watch you grow each and every day. To come into your own, learning, exploring and testing. Daddy had a vision before you were born of a blonde haired, colored eyed baby playing with him and my sweet baby you have fulfilled that piece of his heart. You will forever be the angel that saved our lives. You have taught me more in the past year than the 30 years I have lived on his earth. The most important things in Mommy's life became crystal clear. I want you to know that no matter where you go, what you become, the mistakes you make, the successes you encounter, Mommy and Daddy will always be your number 1 fans. We will be here for you when you think there is no one else, my love. I will do my best to protect you for the rest of my life, but the truth is I won't be able to protect you forever. You will be thrown into this world just like we all are, but I am confident Daddy and I will do our very best to make sure you are as prepared as we can get you. My sweet angel the world is a tough place, but I have no doubt in my mind that you will learn to conquer it with stride. Daddy has been praying over you since you were in Mommy's tummy that you will live a long prosperous life and although we hope not for a very very long time, to find a man worthy of your complete beauty. My first born baby girl, you are the best part of my life. Your personality has made it's way out and you are a fireball. My child, I pray you use that fire to make a difference in this world. We will give you the proper tools and leave it to God and you baby to make this happen. As I look back over this past year, my heart is so full sometimes I think it might explode with the purest love there is. Emmalynn, you are Mommy's best friend, we will continue this journey together and I promise to be the best I can possibly be because you my darling girl, deserve only the best. I love you forever daughter.. Happy 1st birthday my baby. Your Mommy.

All of these lines across my face..

For just a quick second my life was consumed with just that MY life. My beautiful gift that comes in a tiny little package of a precious baby girl. My husband. My work. Business. And there is absolutely nothing I love more than these things, but then a dear friend of mine recommended a book she thought I might like. Carry on Warrior. Wow. Period. Insanely inspired. Period. Every single person in this world is living and fighting and dreaming and coping and dealing just like we are. It's like someone gave me a pair of glasses to see the world. I have a bad habit of pre judging people. Oh that person is soo lucky.. they have this or poor thing look what they don't have. But now that I have my new world glasses I can see something different. Maybe that person just lost their brother, sister, mother etc. Just maybe he or she is overcoming some life tragedy, addiction, fear, financial, divorce, or just plain fighting themselves. I have personally made a decision. I am no longer going to sugar coat things. Life is hard. Plain and simple. Sometimes we are up and sometimes we are down. In the times I am up, I am going to try and bring everyone I encounter up with me. When I am down, I will depend on those people thru God to bring me up with them, because Lord knows as soon as I'm soaring high on the up, the down is right around the corner waiting for me. And this is life. I used to ask my husband, "why does life have to be so hard?" and he would simply say, because life IS hard. So instead of pretending life isn't hard I'm just going to embrace all facets, the good, bad and the ugly. And know that whichever phase I am in, God is with me. But I have realized there are small little pieces of Gods magic that shine thru every day, every week, every month and every year that make the hard parts seem less hard. It's like how I explain being pregnant. I had a very non complicated pregnancy. Easy. It was smooth sailing. Labor was the same way. But I have to make it known, I am not one who LOVES being pregnant. It is uncomfortable, you loose all control of your body and it's a bitch to get that baby weight off. And who wants to be at a hospital, hooked up to God knows what, awaiting the total unknown and thrown completely out of your element?? But the pure and astounding magic that comes from that entire process makes the rest of the process disappear. Totally forgotten. Even though being pregnant is not my thing.. I would do it over and over and over again to experience God's magic that awaits me at the end. Just like life.. I will endure the hard to see the glimpses of magic that appear out of no where every day. So now that I have a brand new perspective on things and my new world glasses I can see the lines across my face. They are lines of where I have been, who I am, my story.. so many stories. But what I am finding in the lines, my story continues. The story of motherhood, businesses, family, and fight are all being created now and to me that's a magical thing.. cause Im still here breathing and living one hard day at a time.

Spring Break What?!

Spring break. Oh the two words I used to start thinking about on January 1st of every year. The plans would begin.. beaching it up, relaxing pool side or working those extra shifts while out of school. Then once the anticipated break was here, the most important part of my day was making sure I had plans for that evening! Although it has been a few years since those amazing days were upon me, this year I didn't even notice it was spring break.. until today. Almost the last day of break. But as I began to think about all of the spring breaks in the past I began reminiscing of the "old days" The adventure I took with some people I never speak to, people that continue to play a huge part in my life and those who drift in and out thanks to our crazy social media world. And then I take a step out of my world and look in. I would never have guessed this would have been my life. From crazy sleepless nights out on the town, road trips at 2am, clubs and social scene to present day, the love of my life and I tucking into bed to catch up on our latest DVR's and our sweet angel sound asleep across the hall. From random beach trips, concerts and camp outs to present day park trips and frozen yogurt with our mini. Red bull and cigarettes to water and vitamins. A midnight call to come out and play, to a call at midnight.. there has to be something wrong! Planning our days around what craziness will consume that night.. to planning our future to experience adventures far beyond what any night outing could ever bring us. Weekend trips to Austin, Tx with no plans in mind, to weekend trips to Costco, the grocery store, and home goods stores checking off lists of to do's and fix its. Ahhhh the times have changed. Looking into my world from the outside in, I see a family of 3 growing every second of every minute, doing the best they can, being just who they are, adjusting, climbing, pushing, and conquering as time passes too quickly to understand. Spring Break you have once again come upon us, but the meaning of you has changed so drastically that I anxiously await my little one(s) spring breaks to begin my count downs and plans to new places and new adventures created and shared in a whole different light. A light I have only dreamed about. And so the spring breaks of my past, adios.. the memories will stay with me forever but there are new ones that have to be made.

Here for a Blink of an Eye.. RIP F.A.C

This weekend I spent way too much time reflecting. Last Thursday, my husband received a phone call that his brother in Guatemala had suddenly passed away. Pure shock ran thru our entire house. He was not supposed to be taken yet. He was not sick. I felt sadness take over my heart instantly. Not sadness for my sweet brother in law who is now resting.. but sadness for the people he has left behind in the crazy world we live in. Specifically my mother in law. That man who God called to be taken from her world was her everything. I just cannot wrap my mind around a parent loosing a child. The feeling just spins my head into something I never want to find myself in.. EVER. With all these thoughts piling up and my husband hundreds of miles away, I started thinking about the short period of time we are here. It then pushed me to realize what my priorities should be. And although a little late for New Years resolutions, I am determined that this will be the year to finally prioritize what really matters to me in my life. Instead of running around like a crazy lady chasing all of these different paths.. I want one path. The path that fills my heart with pure and genuine happiness... and could possibly take me the opposite direction I am headed. Obviously this won't be as easy as the words written here on this page. But that's ok.. I have never gotten anything worth anything easily. If we are only here in this world for a blink.. why not right?? Why not forgive that one person you haven't been able to? Why not have one more glass of wine? Why not take a road trip "just because"? Why not see your family you have already seen twice this week? Why not tell the person you love 100 times a day how much you love them? Why not be exactly who you are instead of faking for the world? I felt a change coming but I was blind sided by the sort of change that has come to fruition. Nonetheless, this has been placed in my life for a reason. Let's just call it a wake up call and I have been rattled wide awake. Let the grudges be wiped away, let the bitterness fade, and the past be forgotten. Let the canvas be refreshed and ready to be painted with a new story. A story really worth telling. Thank you Felipe Antonio Castaneda. Although I never met you, I loved you. You, sweet brother have changed my life... and for that I will forever be grateful. Rest in peace now.. your memory lives on thru your family.

Working Mom or Stay at Home Mom

So before I ever even thought about babies, I always thought I will NEVER be at stay at home mom. I just NEED to be involved.. I am an out and about sort of lady. I spent the beginning of my self proclaimed "career" doing events for Saks Fifth Avenue.. doing events I never could have imagined I would be doing, meeting world famous designers and being smack dab in the middle of the craziness our city has to offer. Now at this time, I was 22 years old, loving the college life and this job seemed to be in my way. I could kick myself now a days for not taking full advantage. But shoulda, coulda, woulda right? I then moved on to graduate college and took a job downtown SA at a Private Club, members only and my job was recruiting members. These members are the elite of San Antonio. Judges, Congressmen, lawyers, executives. We had fun mixers, events, amazing food and more networking. I had worked there 2 years and this is when I decided to take my life in a new direction. Putting all of my energy into the family biz. Fishing lures. This was traveling the state of Texas and literally working our butts off setting up expos.. selling, advertising and promoting sometimes till we fell over. Now to present day, I work for a medical supply company who specialize in spine products and I am so blessed to be able to work from home. I am still able to be with my little mini.. but I have to say the older she gets, it gets a little more complicated. I used to second guess those moms who officed from home and either had a nanny come in or they still put their kids in daycare. My husband has this saying never spit up in the air.. because it always has to come down (In spanish it makes a little more sense i think). Meaning watch what you say because you never know until you have been there. And boy am I eating my words about that one. Although baby E is on a pretty solid schedule, that baby schedule doesn't always jive with my work schedule.. conference calls, reports, payroll. I have to give it up to those who work from home and keep the little ones with no help. God bless you ladies. So that being said, would it be soo much easier just to be home and not work? Or work and put my heart in school? I thought that was the best part about working from home was getting to be with her every day? Well only time will tell at this point depending on the directions of where these businesses lead us. But I am thinking a life change is in the near future. I definitely don't want either parties to suffer, my job but especially my little whom I want to give the sun, moon and stars and just like every mom believes she absolutely deserves this. But could I really be a stay at home mom? My mind convinces me of one thing.. while my heart tugs in the complete opposite direction.

A Whole New World

It seems my last blog post was over a year ago.. wow. Looking back over my entire blog it started off as a story about a couple in their first years of marriage, taking an idea and pursuing the American Dream.. creating a legacy. Magic in Fishing. We found the magic we were looking for. Almost a year later and our entire world has transformed into something we could never even dream up. So to sum up 2012 and everything in it.. just one small thing that is more than any business venture, more than any job can offer, no amount of money can compare... May 21, 2012 our lives were blessed with the greatest most insane amazing gift in my 30 years of living. This little girl became IT for us. The reason we fight for our dreams, the reason we live, we love, and the one person who taught us who we really are in this life. You hear people talk about the love they have for their children and it just doesn't compare to the actual feeling in your soul. This feeling slapped us both right off of our feet instantly and we are still trying to stand back up. But it seems we will never make it back up.. Our lives have been changed forever. Emmalynn Faith is the best part of each one of us. She is an exact copy of her daddy, but has mommy shining right through those green/grey eyes. She is going to be one fire ball. She absolutely loves her sleep. She began sleeping thru the night at 5 weeks and we haven't turned back. She rolled over at 2 months on my sisters birthday, July 16th in front of my family. Show stopping already! Her first word was Momma on November 1.. best day for her mommy. Her first Halloween she was an elephant. She attended her 1st Friendsgiving that we have every year at our house. She got her ears pierced the day before Thanksgiving along with her 6 month shots and was a champ. But the best was her first Christmas. Mommy and Daddy tried to start all sorts of new traditions with a 7 month old that could care less about anything but the wrapping paper and lights. But wow.. December 2012 will go down in my book as magical for sure. She loves to babble and she is VERY loud. Watching her little personality develope each day makes my heart smile. She loves the water, bathtime is the highlight of her day. Sometimes when I feel like skipping the bath one night, it's like she tells me, "No way Mom, I cannot skip my bath!" Swimming classes are in the near future for this little one. And now she is becoming mobile. She scoots herself around and rolls to where she needs to get to. So now the real fun begins.. baby proofing. She loves sweet potatoes and squash. Not very picky when it comes to eating.. so far green beans is the only no go. Her favorites are bannanas and mangos. She loves our two dogs and I know it's only a matter of time before she will be waking up asking to see her pups. Emma is so completely full of light and such a sweet soul, we still sit and stare at her in pure amazement knowing that she is piece of us. Not only has Emmalynn taught us about being parents, but of course my husband is constantly thinking of new ideas. Well a new adventure is born. A new idea in the toy industry. Now this ride together with baby and God willing babies to come will be unbelievable. I feel like our lives have just started and started with a bang. More to come on this journey. Although we have new partners in the fishing lure business and are not completely hands on, even that partnership was devine. Only Gods hands could have put that together and it was not only done at just the right time, the business has never been bigger. So maybe not so much magic as much as blessings were found in fishing and we have begun a new journey.. A family!! So as we embrace this next part of our lives, from parenting mistakes and accomplishments, to new business and projects, to building our legacy... I will forever hold a place in my heart for the fishing lure business but onward we go.

A Glance at 2011.. Better late than Never

So I am about a week overdue, but I thought this year was definitely worthy of reflecting on since so many things changed. So here goes; 2011 started off slow and steady we had one event for Livingston Lures in January with no travel required and began to focus. We hosted anniversary parties, baby showers, a trip to Az, family reunion in Maine, my beautiful nephew made his way into this world, birthdays and dinners. I felt a huge sense of change.. something was happening, this overwhelming feeling of go out and get it came over me. And that is just what I did. At the end of February I started a job that I couldn't have dreamed up. My brother in law hired me to come and help with some project in his oil and gas company. Wow.. what an experience. But I had no clue what was in store for me. A couple of weeks after I started this new endeavor, a business friend and acquaintance was loosing his Operations manager and wanted to know if I was interested. Only God could orchestrate something this wonderful!! I have not worked outside of our own company in 2 years and NEVER would except just any job. The beginning of the best thing EVER! As the dust settled this year, 2011 had turned into this magnificant change of lifestyle. But still got better. The end of September we found out the most amazing, nerve racking, mind altering, greatest news I have ever gotten. We are going to be parents... a baby will be born May 2012... OUR baby girl! And as October came and went, my husband, and partner forever came to work for the amazing individual who now employs us BOTH. This duo is now back under the same business roof ready to thrive once more. As the year came to a close with all of my favorite holidays, my mind clearer than it has ever been before, my heart as content as I have ever experienced, anticipation leaving me a crazy woman, I can not put into words the pure and utterly insane joy and happiness I have going into this new year. Thank you 2011, you were exactly what I needed to gracefully enter my turn of the century year, you were perfectly imperfect and although this short paragraph gives only a glimpse of what you had placed in our path, I know I will never forget this year, as the year my life was shaken into such a beautifully clear picture.

*** All of my thanks and glory go to GOD.. none of this would ever have fallen where it did without HIS hand in. For my answered and unanswered prayers.. Thank you Lord.. you will continue to get all of my praise forever and ever AMEN!

I will Shine The Light

Yesterday afternoon, I was heading over to the office and as I stopped at a stoplight a couple of miles away there was a man holding a sign. A common sight on some of the street corners, a person asking for help. At first I was irritated, thinking why couldn't he just get a job at McDonalds.. delivering newspapers.. ANYTHING at all!!! And at that moment I looked right into this individuals eyes. For some reason my heart sank and I felt a pang of pity. I had to look away immediately because I had nothing to offer. No money, no food, nothing. But as I looked into my side mirror, I saw something that absolutely touched my heart enough to bring tears down my cheeks. A man that didn't look much better than the one standing on the side of the road asking for help, pulls up in an older truck. He then rolled his window down, handed the man a wad of cash and patted him on the back. I have no idea what was exchanged between the two, but this small, insignificant experience that I watched through my side mirror inspired me. After a long work day and dinner is made, my husband and I sit down for dinner. As my husband is praying and thanking GOD for everything he is doing in our lives, he begins to talk about us being able to share what we have been given to others, not just family and friends. Wow. This couldn't be more fitting. I have been inspired. Inspired to be a better person to those around me and those I don't know. To share some of the Gods grace with people who have soo much less than I do. Those who struggle to find their way each and every day and don't have a single soul to turn to. When those people think that there is no hope left. When someone is living their darkest hour, I WILL SHINE THE LIGHT. It is time. Time to make it right. To bring light to so much darkness in this world.

To be continued...........